Obsessive thoughts?

All growing I would just think so much about planning and loving on people. My mom had to make a rule that I didn’t plan my birthday party until it was 1 month away because I would literally mention it all the time. I would get the Oriental trading magazine and circle and piece together what i thought could end up being the perfect day. I used to obsess about a haircut and nag my mom NON-STOP that I wanted and NEEDED one. If something came into my head, I would think and think and think about it like no other. Wait I’m speaking past tense.... I should be speaking in the present because I STILL do it. That’s right. Before my husband proposed, I obsessed at looking at rings and wedding things on Pinterest. I asked everyone around me if they knew anything and bugged my mom (that poor women) to tell me if he had asked permission. I nag my husband now about cravings I am having or the new running shoes I need.  Wanna know what is worse. I say this stuff to myself, think about over and over. It runs through my mind like a looped video. There are things that I obsess about that don’t even make sense to obsess about. There are times that I have multiple things sprinting around in my head. At night, I am usually exhausted strictly because of the thoughts I had that day, let alone all the school work, friends, family, and life choices to worry about. I don’t even understand the thoughts that go through my head. Another form of obsession, one I see for myself, is my nightmares. It sounds weird to call it an obsession, but it is. I cannot just wake up from a nightmare and it be over, nope. They are so vivid that I used to believe they were real. I still do on occasion, but I usually can identify them as nightmares but then I can’t stop replaying them in my head. Randomly throughout the day, in class, driving, walking, eating, no matter what im doing, my nightmare will flash across my eye. Even nightmares from 3 nights ago or a week or even a month. I have this one nightmare from when I was little that still pops in every once in a while. This is when I’m awake so you can imagine my sleep.   Family is what can get us through the hard times. They are who build us up when we need help and pick us up when we are down. They are the ones that God gave us to get through this life. Our families are the people that we are tied to genetically and sadly they get what we feel because genetically they do too. “well my parents are diagnosed with …” Well neither are mine but they know what its like to be in a dark place. They know what its like to feel alone.These obsessive thoughts, these nightmares, these things affect way more than just me. They affect my family directly. I’ll be mad at them for something they did in the dream or take out my frustration of the thoughts on them, or just nag them relentlessly about the thing that is on my mind. They go through so much and I am SO SO grateful for them. They are my heroes for my everyday life and I love them more than they could ever know.They know.So if you can, reach out to a family member, say thank you, say I love you. You don’t know how long you have to say that so do it now.