My Story Summarized a Bit

I am a college student. I am in the middle of my junior year and my 4th term here at the university. You would think that I would be used to being here on my own and be able to juggle school/ homework, a social life, and my mental health with no problem but I have news, I am not that good at it. Four years ago I started my first-year college. At the end of that year, my whole life fell apart. I went home, I got a job, and took a term off. I went back to school but at a local community college in January. I struggled through the first term but made it by the skin of my chinny chin chin. Then the fall term came around, I thought I had gotten control of my emotions but I found out, quite suddenly, that I was not in control of them at all. I fell apart again and my emotions blew up like a volcano. They continued to just spew out and I created damage all around me to the people I loved. I ended up having to withdraw from all my classes because I couldn't understand the content, I couldn't focus in class, and I felt completely stupid.  This made me feel so inadequate and unintelligent. I told myself that I couldn't do school and I would never go back. After that, I went through a really hard and heartbreaking break up. I had finally hit rock bottom. I had no idea I could get any lower until then. Just before the breakup, I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder along with Major Depression and Anxiety. This diagnosis answered so many questions for me as to why I was feeling the way I did but it also brought a lot of insecurity and anxiety. Now that I had a diagnosis, I had two decisions: either I could just suffer with it or I could get working and start the therapy involved with getting better and managing my symptoms. Neither of these would be easy. There were, and still are, many times that I have wanted to give up. After this, I got the opportunity to visit friends at their university. While I was there, I met so many people and felt so much love and care from them. These people opened up to me about their faith and belief in Jesus Christ. They taught me about Jesus, the love of Heavenly Father, the atonement of Jesus Christ, and the different principles of their faith. I felt so warm and loved and that first night after hearing about all this, I prayed. This was the first time in years that I prayed. I felt a burning in my heart that I couldn't deny was the love of Heavenly Father. As I met more people, they all shared with me about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, then one guy, let's call him Oliver, told me a phrase that changed my entire perspective and made me feel like I mattered. He said, "YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD". This hit me like a ton of bricks. I had never heard something so strong and powerful. I meant something because I am a CHILD of an almighty being who loves me. I am not some random clump of particles that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I matter to HIM. This changed my entire perspective of myself and the people around me. This changed my life. I fell in love with the place I was in. I immediately applied to the university and met with someone on campus. Now here I am, up at that same university. I have already done a year up here and am starting my second. Absolutely none of it was easy. I have struggled the whole time and have fallen and wanted to give up countless times. There were periods where I had no one to help me up here and I was calling my mom every single day, two times a day to cry and tell her how hard it was. I still struggle like crazy and think of quitting but I keep getting back of and pushing forward. I am always looking for new ways to get better and help myself. I am in a loving relationship with the Man of my Dreams and we struggle with a lot of things that have to do with my mental health but he supports me every day. Every day brings struggles but I will not give up!

Hello

Hello friends,
I've decided to share my story with the world about what my journey has been like with the different mental health issues and diagnosis that I have. My goal is to share the different symptoms and events that happened in my life, so I can relate to others and let them know that they aren't alone. Also, I want to share any remedies that I find so I can help others feel good as well. In the last 4 years, I have been to hell and back with my depression and anxiety. I know that other people have different stories and lives and have gone through far more painful and traumatic experiences but I think that we all have similarities and can benefit from one another. A year and a half ago when I was first diagnosed and felt that the whole world was against me with no one that really understood what I was going through, it was extremely helpful and validating that I was able to see that others in the world had alike feelings and emotions. Not feeling like the only person was so helpful i being able to accept my diagnosis and begin the slow healing process I had in front of me. No, I am not done healing. No, I do not have it all figured out nor do I think that I will completely be done getting over it and be without my symptoms. So please enjoy my blog, comment if you desire, and know you aren't alone in this hard life that is depression, anxiety, and mental/ mood disorders.

DISCLAIMER: I am no expert in any of the topics that I talk about. I am only speaking of my personal experiences and different things I have researched or heard.